Continuing friendship

I suffer from Bipolar disorder and I am currently coming out of a “depressive episode”. Whenever life starts becoming normal, we tend to start where we left at. When the depression starts, we stop talking, and when we become normal, we try reaching back to our friends. Unable to stay in touch with the closest’s of friends, puts a strain in the relationship. We cannot communicate to our friends why we stopped talking one day and why now, have we decided to talk. When the depression starts to subside, we try to get back in touch with our old friends, but most, if not all, appear cold. Some may perceive that we had been ignoring them but that is so untrue! Also, it is hard for them to understand the change in our personality. For example, we would stop laughing at the jokes that we usually laughed at earlier. We try to mask this by faking a smile but soon people start to see the real dull person and move away. People would naturally be closer to someone who would laugh more often.

People can’t be criticized for moving away because they never know the complete truth. They only see us change without reason. Even when the people know that we are Bipolar, a years gap changes everyone and we are left behind. This means that we are bound to loose out on friends. The separation during depression always drives friends away, especially since we never tell them why. In Bipolar disorder this condition repeats every few years. Slowly more and more friends break away and it makes us more and more lonely!

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2 Responses to Continuing friendship

  1. Pingback: Manic Monday 2010 IV « Necessary Therapy

  2. Thanks for sharing this…really resonated.

    I’ve found that masks tend to confuse oneself ultimately…I lose track of who the REAL me is 😉 Recently I have stopped pretending for politeness’ sake – takes far too much energy. There’s a delicious sense of liberation when you reach what I call ‘The Popeye State’ – I AM WHAT I AM!

    P.S. Nice to meet another Van Gogh fan 🙂
    P.P.S We’d love to have you join us on http://www.wholemindindia.org/

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